Sunday, November 22, 2015

Best Refugee Vetting Could Go

Best, Refugee Vetting Could Hope To Go

Government Official At Table
G.O. :  Next!
Refugee sits across from Government Official
G.O.:  Last name!
Ref:    Muhammad.
G.O.:  First name!
Ref :  Muhammad.
G.O.: Middle initial?
Ref:   M.
G.O:  Any identification?
Ref:  I have tattoo of twin crescent moons..
G.O.: No, I mean official papers.
Ref: Papers? Paper not allowed in Islam. Girls can learn.. Men can be identified.
G.O.: I See.. So you are Muslim.
Ref: No No!  I am Chreestian I swear on stack of Korans.
G.O: But the Koran is….
Ref: LIAR! Liar!
G.O.: Okay just calm down. Can anyone else here vouch for this man’s identity
Distant Voice: Oh yes, he is upstanding wanderer, He has passed my tent a few             
G.O.: I see… well do you have any skills to bring to our country?
Ref. Of course, I am best camel taxi in all middle east, but I can drive pick-up too.
G.O.: Anything else?
Ref:  Of course, I can sell gas, cigarettes, lottery tickets and milk.
G.O.: That’s it?
Ref: I am also trained government consultant for vulnerable and security sectors.
G.O.: Then you should have no problem obtaining employment. Tell me something, why are you travelling alone? Do you not have family?
Ref: I plan on sending for wives and sons in a couple of weeks when I become citizen…What’s your country again?
G.O.: No daughters..?
Ref: They can stay behind. They are training for Arab Games in the blindfolded shot-put catch. They can’t be trusted not to like boys and men.
At sudden noise of wind slamming door shut, the refugee jumps up and shouts Allahuh Akbar! while frantically looking around.
G.O.:  It was just the door relax. You know you won’t be allowed to bring that sword.
Ref: It’s only for ceremony use. We have many public ceremonies, some without swords but all have same kind of public message and ending,
G.O.  You're good to go then…..  Next!
Copyright  waived. P.G.

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