Sunday, May 5, 2013

Read It First On BCR: Ultimate Dog Joke

So after a long day at the groomers the majestic Great Pyrenees strolls outside into his fenced in playground to feel the cool breeze toss his quaffed hair about.

Soon, he hears the haunting howls of a distant, and ever- elusive pack of night stalking coyotes.

"Hey keep it down will ya!" the Pryenees snaps,"I'm trying to relax out here!"

"So, how's it feel to be kept caged up?", yelps back the leader of the coyotes.

"You kidding me", shouts back the Pyraneese, "I've got it made in the shade, brother.My masters anticipate and meet my every need and desire and they don't even own any sheep for me to protect...well... from you guys. I just have to help babysit once and a while"

"Like what, for instance?", cries back the coyote in the still night.

"Well I get one square a day of all I can eat easy to chew food served in a clean bowl. I get treats to keep my canines pearly white and breath minty fresh.

Occasionally, I'll get a variety of better tasting snacks handed down on a plate, and only after my masters have taste-tested most of it for me.

I get all the fresh cold chemically treated, bacteria free water I can drink from classy stainless steel and porcelain bowls that my masters defer for drinking especially 'just' for me.

If I ever get annoyed enough to take a nip out of some human who is really annoying me, my masters fight to see which one of them can take the blame.

And not only that, they anticipate even when I have to go to the bathroom. They take delicate slow care with hand wrappings and bags to not contaminate my poop with their germs and surely must place it somewhere of honour after those ceremonies."
As he lifts a paw to inspect his manicured claws, the Pryaneese adds

"Yeah, I don't know how they do it but I never get fleas or worms, either. I'm telling ya, they anticipate all my cares for me."

Dejected, the lead coyote lowers his head and motions for the nomadic pack to move on.

Just then a lower coyote in the pecking order remembers something and shouts back to the dog. "Yeah, well we get it anytime we want... even on the go!"

A short while thereafter a faint bark from the Pryaneese is heard to inquire, "Get what..?"

Paul Gordon

No comments:

Post a Comment